Why can't life...

…be more like a 1980s Coca Cola advert -notably the one below? When I was growing up I was convinced that my life would just be like this. It absolutely and without doubt would involve kissing a beautiful woman as a wave crashed over us. This never happened. It probably didn’t help that I was living in Birmingham at the time and there isn’t much of a sea front. Also I am pretty sure the actresses in this advert didn’t have heavy Birmingham accents like all the women I knew.



Then one day you wake up –in your 30’s, and you realise that you have missed the chance of life being like this. And then you realise that even if life were like this you would get a snog, which would be nice, but you’d have to walk home wet – which wouldn’t. It doesn’t really matter anyway because you are so fat from drinking sugary soft drinks that no woman is going to look at you.
Not that I’m bitter you understand.